


In Sickness & In Health

by DesertLily



Category: Alexander Hamilton - Ron Chernow, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Disease, Fluff, M/M, Modern AU, Sick Fic, Sickness, Thomas has anxiety, Thomas is a good boyfriend, sick!James
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 14:26:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15583908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertLily/pseuds/DesertLily
Summary: James is sick and reflects on his relationship with Thomas. Thomas worries and looks after his sick boyfriend.





	In Sickness & In Health

James Madison held pure certainty on only a few things in his life. He was certain that he was going to pass his college course (at this point, it would be impossible for him not to). He was certain he’d spend the rest of his life sickly. He was certain Thomas Jefferson was incredible. He was certain that he loved Thomas Jefferson. He was certain he was the luckiest person alive because Thomas Jefferson loved him back. To James, he was perhaps the most incredible person alive. He was kind to him; sweet even and made James smile in ways he never knew he could. He still didn’t know how he was lucky enough to have the man love him so. He was just glad that he did. The version of Thomas that James knew and the version of Thomas most people saw were polar opposites. James saw the anxious, uncertain man that hid behind fancy illusions of grandeur and nonchalance. He saw the real Thomas and he loved both sides of him.

They were good at looking after each other too. James would hold Thomas through all of his anxiety attacks; comfort him and stay with him for as long as he needed to. And Thomas....To James, he was practically a saint in disguise. No matter how sick or even contagious James was, his boyfriend would always stay by his side until he was better. He would always be there for him. It was like an unwritten contract between the two, signed by the bond of their love. Because they were in love and they were happy. At least, they tried to be.

James knew it was dumb to hide that he was sick. He knew how bad he could get if he just ignored his symptoms. Yet, he couldn’t quite bring himself to tell Thomas. He knew how stressed out he had been lately (rooming with Alexander Hamilton combined with the worry of finals was enough to stress anyone out) and didn’t want to add to that stress. It wouldn’t be fair if he did. So James did his best to hide his symptoms. He tried to suppress his heavy coughs, knowing how violent each and every one would sound as it ripped its way from his throat. It would panic Thomas and James refused to do that. His fever was hard enough to hide. The influx of warm weather as of recent was an easy excuse as to why he was sweating so much or looked so flustered. The throwing up had been the trickiest to hide. There were only a certain number of excuses he could use to explain his lack of appetite or constant need to go to the bathroom to throw up. Still, James had done a surprisingly good job of fooling his boyfriend.

That was, of course, until his fever got worse. His clothes were drenched entirely in sweat as he squirmed in his sleep. The fever kept James trapped in hallucinogenic dreams for far too long, forbidding him from waking up the next morning. Though, the first thing he was aware of when he woke up was the sensation of a cool cloth against his skin, both there to soothe him and wipe away his swear. He didn’t have to open his eyes to know who was holding the cloth.

“Jemmy...” A mixture of disapproval and concern filled Thomas’s eyes as he stared down at his boyfriend. “You should have told me you were sick. You know how bad you can get.” The light scolding was the man’s way of releasing his own worry. A small sense of guilt filled James’s stomach at that. He hadn’t meant to cause Thomas so much worry. “I...I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you, darlin’. I really don’t.” His voice was soft as he spoke; gentle.

James slowly moved to take Thomas’s free hand in his own. “...I’m sorry.” It was the only thing he could think to say. Yet the word seemed to hold a thousand meanings. ‘I’m sorry I’m sick again.’ ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.’ ‘I’m sorry I let it get so bad.’ ‘I’m sorry I made you worry.’ He stared up at him slowly, glad when he felt Thomas’s hand squeeze his own. The only comfort he needed was him by his side. It always reminded him he was safe; that he wasn’t alone.

The hand squeeze was soon followed by a kiss pressed to his forehead. The temperature contrast caused by his fever made the lips feel cool to James, a brief and slight relief from the fever that burned relentlessly through him. “I know you are. But we talked about this, James. You...You can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep hiding this...” His voice cracked at that and so did James’s heart. He hasn’t meant to cause Thomas to worry like this. If anything, he’d been trying to do the opposite! Though, now the damage was done; he felt positively terrible and his boyfriend was worrying far too much.

“Figured I could handle it this time...” It was a poor excuse. James knew it. Thomas knew it. Yet it was the only one he found himself able to offer. “I-I knew you were stressed and I didn’t want to make it worse.” That seemed to draw a mildly distressed and exasperated sigh from Thomas as he stared down at his boyfriend.

The look Thomas gave James was one of mild disbelief. “It doesn’t matter how stressed I am or if you can ‘handle it’, okay?” He whispered, moving closer as he stared into James’s eyes. “I love you and I want to look after you and keep you safe. Your health always comes first. Never forsake it for me.” The scolding was clearly making it easier for him to handle; an outlet for his stress and anxiety. “Promise me you’ll stop this. Please.” His words were desperate as he continued to brush the cool, damp cloth across James’s skin.

He couldn’t help but relax at that, relishing in the brief moments of relief the cool cloth allowed him. “I promise.” James didn’t even have to think twice before responding. If it stopped the other man worrying and panicking then he’d do it. He’d do almost anything to try and make him happy. “I love you. So much, Thomas. I-I don’t like making you worry about me.”

That seemed to draw a slight eye roll from Thomas as some of the tension drained from the air. “I worry because I love you.” He responded simply, brushing his thumb across James’s cheek gently. The look of worry still hadn’t left Thomas’s eyes but James suspected it never would. “Never worry about how worried or stressed I am, Jemmy. Seeing you healthy is always enough to make me happy.” He assured him.

James Madison really did feel lucky for having the privilege of loving Thomas. Jefferson


End file.
